Well the count down is on. I leave for Australia in one week. I only have 3 days of work at the salon left, and 1 day of Nioxin work to do. I am feeling very overwhelmed with everything, yet calm. I am very excited for my sisters wedding on the weekend. I think keeping my mind on that has kept me feeling fairly good about leaving. I am excited to be done work. Not that I won't miss my co-workers, but I'm ready for something new. I am excited to see my family that is visiting for the wedding. I'm so glad I get to see so many of them before I go. This week is going to be jammed packed so I may not have another blog until I'm in Australia. We'll see I guess.
Until next time,
Cindy
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Sex and the city relationships
If you ever watch Sex and the city you will understand this blog. My favorite part about the four girls is how they can be so honest with one another. Carrie may be scared to tell Charlotte she is having an affair with Big, but still she tells her. And when she does, they fight. Not like fist fight, but ya know they yell a little and both get their point across. And then maybe they have a day or two apart but in the end Carrie and Charlotte and the other girls end up at their favorite breakfast spot. The whole point is, they're honest with one another. They let it out. They talk about how they feel. They each have a point and its valid. I want this. I want this with my friends and family. I want to give my opinion and not worry about hurting any ones feelings. I want to say what is on my mind without worrying someones mom won't talk to me because I said it. At this point in my life, I'm terrified I will say the wrong thing. I actually do say the wrong thing on a daily basis. Which means, I back pedal to try and get my foot out of my mouth. I hate that. It turns into me becoming someone I'm not. I want to be myself. I want to say what is in my mind and in my heart. This, of course, doesn't mean I should be a rude bitch and say inappropriate things at inappropriate times. It means when something bothers me, I say it. I don't worry about making sure the other person feels better about it when I do. I have the people in my life that I want in my life. I have honest relationships with the people in my life. This is my goal while I'm on my travels. I am going to find myself. I want to be more comfortable with who I am, not who people expect me to be. I want to have friends I can be honest with and who will be honest back. I want to be real.
Well lets hope I find what I'm looking for while I'm travelling. Hopefully I come back as the person I want to be.
Until next time.
Cindy
Well lets hope I find what I'm looking for while I'm travelling. Hopefully I come back as the person I want to be.
Until next time.
Cindy
Monday, September 15, 2008
Running Away
Do you ever wonder how those people just walk out the door for a jug of milk and never come back do it? I do all the time. I wonder why there life was so bad. I wonder if they ever miss their old clothes. I wonder if they think about going back. I've always been very curious about it. I find it interesting that they just start again. They make up a whole new background a whole new self. I'm beginning to wonder if that is what I'm trying to do. Except I've told people I'm going. This is my biggest regret. If I could do it all over again, I would just give 2 weeks notice at my job and not even tell them why. I wouldn't tell my friends until I was in Australia. This way I would avoid those sappy goodbyes that feel totally fake. Yes, I will miss people, but its sorta like missing your hair after a big haircut. Yeah its gone, but doesn't it look better? I feel like I have changed so much in the last few years, yet my surroundings have stayed the same. Basically I feel like I don't match anymore. I did at one time have a close connection to all my friends here, but time has changed that. These friends are getting married, having babies, running kids to soccer games, and meeting for play dates. I, however, am not doing any of these things. Of course, I love these people and their kids, but I simply don't have anything in common with them anymore. Maybe it is that fact that I'm jealous. I wanted all those things, yet life hasn't taken me there. I often wonder why this happens at different times for different people. Has God decided that I'm not mature enough to have a real relationship, that I can't handle children? Yet I watch people mess up there perfectly great relationships everyday. Anyway, the point is I've changed. I've changed so much that I feel like I fake who I am on a daily basis. Australia for me will be like going for milk and never coming back. I want to start all over. I want to say what I want without worrying that I've hurt someones feelings. I just want out. I feel like I'm having the beginning stages of a panic attack. I'm so close to gone I can feel it, yet its still so far away.
I did not intend to hurt any ones feeling while writing this. I will apologize for anything I've written that has offended anyone. Unfortunately, I can't help how I feel.
I did not intend to hurt any ones feeling while writing this. I will apologize for anything I've written that has offended anyone. Unfortunately, I can't help how I feel.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
My first blog!
Hello Everyone!
Welcome to my first blog. With this blog I plan to keep everyone up to date with my travels. This is for everyone who wants to know how I'm doing and wants to see some pictures of my trip. Also for anyone who doesn't have facebook, but wants to see pictures. Also I'd love to read comments so don't be scared to speak up.
Today I went to work at 9am. I did one of my regular clients hair and then had to leave for the day. I headed to Russell, Manitoba with my friend Cyndall. We met up with my co-worker Shawna in Rapid City (her home). We were going to a funeral. It was an awful reason to bring us all toghether but it was a fun trip. One of my clients lost her daughter, Marley, on Saturday Sept. 6th. Marley was 14 years old. There was about 800 people at her "Celebration of Life". It was a really hard afternoon. Marley's mother Chris is a regular client of mine. She is one of those clients who I look forward to seeing everytime I see her name in the book. Chris is someone I will miss dearly while I am in Australia. We always have great talks about my life, her life, her girls, and anything else we can think of. I always thought she was so fantastic because her girls seemed so well rounded and she often asked for advice on how to handle teenage girl stuff. I think this is a fantastic trait because I don't have children yet feel very honored when people ask me about my teenage years and how I would have handled the situation. Although they don't always take my advice it still feels good that people ask. Anyway, Chris is the type of mother I want to be when I grow up. So when I found out she lost her daughter Marley, I was heart broken. No, I did not know Marley well. I mean I had done her hair, and talked to her almost everytime she was in the salon, but I didn't know her favorite color or favorite song. Even though I didn't know these things, I could still tell Marley was a special girl. Her sister Madison is also a great girl. They are the type of girls I want my unborn children to be. The whole family is just down right good people. Today at Marley's funeral I cried. I cried because she was so young. I cried because there is so much she didn't get to experience. I cried because I wanted to ease the pain of her family and close friends. I cried because I remembered how awful I felt at my dad's funeral. At one point I felt like I didn't belong there. Like I said, I didn't know Marley all that well. I thought there were so many other people who knew her better than I, yet here I was crying my eyes out. At the lunch I spoke with Chris. I told her that I asked my dad to look out for Marley in heaven. I told her that I had a broken heart. Chris said something to me that will stick with me forever. She said she wanted me to take Marley to Australia with me. She said since Mar wouldn't be able to make it, it was up to me to take her there. She said have a drink for her and enjoy yourself for her. I thought that was the best thing I'd heard all day. The thought that Marley wouldn't be able to experience so many things in life has been bothering me all week. Since Chris suggested this, I can't help but wonder if Marley came into my life for a reason. I think God sent her to me so that I would be reminded to live life to the fullest. So I have decided I am definately taking Mar with me. She is going to Australia and anywhere else I decide to go. So if in my picutres you see a gold candy wrapper or a paper with a picture on it, this is her enjoying the sights. This will remind me and everyone looking at the pictures to live their life to the fullest.
Many of my clients will be on my mind while I travel. They are all special in different ways. I feel honored to have been a part of their life, even if it was just a small part. I finish this first blog with a silent prayer for Marley and her family. I also thank God for my clients, and for letting me take this trip to Australia.
Until Next time,
Cindy
Welcome to my first blog. With this blog I plan to keep everyone up to date with my travels. This is for everyone who wants to know how I'm doing and wants to see some pictures of my trip. Also for anyone who doesn't have facebook, but wants to see pictures. Also I'd love to read comments so don't be scared to speak up.
Today I went to work at 9am. I did one of my regular clients hair and then had to leave for the day. I headed to Russell, Manitoba with my friend Cyndall. We met up with my co-worker Shawna in Rapid City (her home). We were going to a funeral. It was an awful reason to bring us all toghether but it was a fun trip. One of my clients lost her daughter, Marley, on Saturday Sept. 6th. Marley was 14 years old. There was about 800 people at her "Celebration of Life". It was a really hard afternoon. Marley's mother Chris is a regular client of mine. She is one of those clients who I look forward to seeing everytime I see her name in the book. Chris is someone I will miss dearly while I am in Australia. We always have great talks about my life, her life, her girls, and anything else we can think of. I always thought she was so fantastic because her girls seemed so well rounded and she often asked for advice on how to handle teenage girl stuff. I think this is a fantastic trait because I don't have children yet feel very honored when people ask me about my teenage years and how I would have handled the situation. Although they don't always take my advice it still feels good that people ask. Anyway, Chris is the type of mother I want to be when I grow up. So when I found out she lost her daughter Marley, I was heart broken. No, I did not know Marley well. I mean I had done her hair, and talked to her almost everytime she was in the salon, but I didn't know her favorite color or favorite song. Even though I didn't know these things, I could still tell Marley was a special girl. Her sister Madison is also a great girl. They are the type of girls I want my unborn children to be. The whole family is just down right good people. Today at Marley's funeral I cried. I cried because she was so young. I cried because there is so much she didn't get to experience. I cried because I wanted to ease the pain of her family and close friends. I cried because I remembered how awful I felt at my dad's funeral. At one point I felt like I didn't belong there. Like I said, I didn't know Marley all that well. I thought there were so many other people who knew her better than I, yet here I was crying my eyes out. At the lunch I spoke with Chris. I told her that I asked my dad to look out for Marley in heaven. I told her that I had a broken heart. Chris said something to me that will stick with me forever. She said she wanted me to take Marley to Australia with me. She said since Mar wouldn't be able to make it, it was up to me to take her there. She said have a drink for her and enjoy yourself for her. I thought that was the best thing I'd heard all day. The thought that Marley wouldn't be able to experience so many things in life has been bothering me all week. Since Chris suggested this, I can't help but wonder if Marley came into my life for a reason. I think God sent her to me so that I would be reminded to live life to the fullest. So I have decided I am definately taking Mar with me. She is going to Australia and anywhere else I decide to go. So if in my picutres you see a gold candy wrapper or a paper with a picture on it, this is her enjoying the sights. This will remind me and everyone looking at the pictures to live their life to the fullest.
Many of my clients will be on my mind while I travel. They are all special in different ways. I feel honored to have been a part of their life, even if it was just a small part. I finish this first blog with a silent prayer for Marley and her family. I also thank God for my clients, and for letting me take this trip to Australia.
Until Next time,
Cindy
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